I will say I am sorry now if I will sound snippy, rude or just plain bitchy. I started my day out with a crappy shower. I was in the middle of the shower and the water pressure just cuts out, but no one wants to admitting to starting the damn washer. (Anyway, long story short, there just so many people in and out of this house, my anxiety is usually through the roof, and I feel like I am locked in this room.)
I’ve been trying to find an online job, because one, I need money so we can get our own house, and two, I have social anxiety and other physical issues so bad that a normal job will not last. (I know I should see a doctor, but the last three doctors I have seen, all we just asses.)
I also know I need a job, so I have at least a little bit to go out for myself. It helps my sanity when I can go a small lunch and shopping spree. . . even if it is the dollar store or if I am buying pant and I have Mc Donald dollar menu. (However this month, a huge chuck of our money is going to a friend’s birthday, who we can’t even see, because of her jealous, rude, and brat of baby daddy . . . long story, just really frustrated that her birthday is over my sanity.)
I just feel like I am everyone’s second place. . . the worst part I think I am even second place in my own life. . . I just such a dumb-ass people pleaser that I don’t even consider myself first ever. I thought I was someone’ first, until they realized there are “better” people out there. . . I guess. Whatever. When I get my house, I am getting my two cats: Loki (female) and Thor (male) and they will have kittens. They will both be cuddly and love me. . . they will be my family. Humans suck.
I am sitting here writing this and playing Candy Crush Soda Saga. . . I have a to-do so long that it full page, and I am just motivated.
The last two times I have worked on finding an online job, I have burnt myself out (the last time I slept 11 hours, I was so drained). . . So I wanted to post this first. . . I am so sick of the 12 minute videos promising you millions, great houses, slick cars, perfect vacations so on and so forth. . . they do not exist. Whenever I get one of those video, I research the name of the company and the e-mails that send it. If scam pop ups on my google search, they get dropped. If I cannot find anything on their e-mail, it gets dropped.
Last night I got an 20 minute of a guy Mike Dee promising to bring down the “Big Scammers” with his loop-hole software, but I had to list to his entire story where he spent thousands of dollars into those scams (why didn’t he just use the thousands of dollars for his bills?) Anyway, it took 20 minutes for him to charge me $97 and then take $70 off. . . yes 27 dollars, but for $27 I can plan a menu for at least 5 days. However I am seeking an online job in which does not have me illegally using software or listening to stupid people bitch at me, because I do not have anxiety/stress control for that. I’m also worried about: how do you claim taxes with those scams if they worked?
What really just pisses me off is when you get an e-mail for one job, and the links send you somewhere else. . . shouldn’t this be legal?
“Mr. IRS, Sir, I didn’t sell anything, I just posted my webpage, made by that company, and the next day I was making money.” <—I kind of think if you can’t explain to the IRS, then chances are it’s a scam.
I am also pissed off that they keep pushing the college. If I could afford it (which at this point, I cannot), I wouldn’t mind taking a few online classes so I can get a Bachelor in hospitality/travel and become a travel agent.
In ideal world . . . I would have one of these three jobs or I would manage all three . . .
1. I would be an assistant for some rich, generous, and eccentric guru who can do complicated thing, but forget things like tying his shoes. I would work on scheduling and help him in crisis. (I would be like his guardian angel in the flesh). I would make a lot of money for it.
2. I would be a travel agent who gets paid to vacation and sell locations like Hawaii and the Caribbean islands.
3. I would want to be the famous author before I die like JK Rowling or Anne Rice or Stephen King.
It's my Own World but it's OK. . . 