And I thought Drama Queens were just girls

Okay, this is how it goes. . . we are splitting the cable bill. . . however this drama has gotten deeper than a divided cable bill. It’s about a freeloader who is shacking up with one of the other roommates, who thinks he can control a place he doesn’t even pay rent to. . .

Here’s the thing I feel partically bad for the one roommate, because I think he is threating her if she breaks up with him. He won’t let her tell her side of anything, and he won’t even let her talk to her own best friend by herself. This creep needs to go.

He decided to drag the entire household on an issue that had nothing to do with us or him. Now everyone is fed up with everyone. . . (at first, I thought it was my fault, but they came to me, made me feel cornered and harassed, and then they did the same thing to my fiancé. He pissed me off instead of talking to us together, because I am way more calm with my fiancé by my side. If they had just talked to the right person all of this drama would have not started. . . I was told they just wanted to start something, and to make this more crazy it was blood moon eclipse yesterday.)

The thing is from what I hear that his own family doesn’t want him, and now I know why. . . if he would just man-up, get a job or at least get on meds, and then get his own place, then he can “play his game,” or “tell it like it is.” <–Both term he used. . . I just think it’s a guy out of control trying to be a big shot on nothing.

My other roommate told me not to worry, they are leaving. I hope so, at least the guy.

On a side note: The thing is I am normally dominant. I would normally be in his face, but my hormones (or so I think) have made me weaker or at least highly emotional. I have had three panick attacks within two months. . . I get instant senses/feeling of dread for no reason: there are times I am paranoid that someone is out to get me or my roommates. When someone lifts their voice I either hide in my room, go to the library, or cry. This is not who I am. . . I know I didn’t like the bull-dog personality in me, but I need it.

September Release. . . Things I just need to get out. . .

First of all, I need to control my words. . . however, my mom has a really bad habit of just getting whatever out of my mouth at the worst times. I don’t want our roommates to think that I am not grateful for staying here, I am. I just want our own place. . . where it is just Tom and I. . . I’m very anti-social. I have extremely high anxiety, and right now I am just trying to make the best out of an okay situation.

Secondly, I feel like I am creating wedges between the roommates, and I don’t want that at all. . . it’s mostly over food and kitchen issues. How hard is it not to touch something tied in a bag with my name on it? How hard is it to by two one dollar dish soaps per month? (I mean the kitchen rules are simple, if it is not marked it’s community food. You need to clean up after yourself, and make sure you turn the oven/stove off when you are through.)

Thirdly I am fighting myself. . . I wanted my mom and uncle to do things on their own which they are doing. However they want to go back to a place that they cannot afford, and it really doesn’t have that many opportunities for them. (I guess. . .you can teach a man to fish, but you can’t tell them which fish to eat.)

Fourthly, I am sick of cable companies giving you a “good” year and then screwing you up the next year. Why can’t it just be simple. . . you want this channel or this set of channel it will be so much per day or month and let us pick our own TV? Why can’t TV be free anymore? (I can go on so many different directions on this subject. The main thing that gets on my nerves is that it would have costed me twice as much to keep DirecTV, than to pay to have it turned off. . . I was one of the few that paid every month on time, and I still got fined for moving when others let their bills lapse over months and they got the fee waved, what the hell?)

The fifth thing I need to get off my chest. . . please do not tell me to just “get over it” when I am sick. I have kidney and liver issues thank you to bad genetics. (I had both grandparents on my mother’s side died with failing kidney and livers, which had started earlier in their lives.) There are days where I have overdone, and I feel like crap. I appoligize now because on those days, I do feel like crap. Sometimes I just need an Aleve, and a nap, and I feel better. Other days, it just has to work itself out. (However I usually try to avoid people, because with my crankiness, it makes things sound worst than what they really are.) I am prone to UTI’s and they just tear my system up. . . aches, pains, and sometimes fevers. They even cause my ankles to swell and hurt.

The sixth thing, I love the fact that my fiancé is getting to writing. I love how he has a billion ideas that he wants to get out. However, I do not have the time to write a million words for each of his ideas that he is just going to completely overhaul anyways. I will write for him what I can, when I can, that is all I can promise.

The seventh thing is my fiancé, Tom, and I decided we are tying the knot on October 16^th. At least I hope so. . . we love each other, but we agreed we are going more because we know that it was what the government wants us to do. Married couples have more benefits, and they get treated better when trying to find a home etc. We have been together eight years now. . . wow. We have been through fights, illnesses, break ups, make-ups, movie night, deaths, births (relatives and friends), holidays, family issues, RPG sessions, Video game and board game nights etc. I do have a slight fear that once we sign that paper we will change and like instantly hate each other. I have seen so many people go into marriage happy, but out of it miserable. I just hope that we don’t even look at the fact that we signed a paper. . . I think we got dress up to eat some cake.

Issue eight. . . We are not sure if we want to invite family to this “tying of the knot,” or not. I’ve been having nightmares of family taking over the damn thing. . . they force us to do it in a church, with food we cannot stand, a stale cake, and a dress that I cannot breath in. We aren’t even looking at it as a wedding, we are looking at it as something we have to do, so the damn government and professional will look at us seriously. To be honest, it’s like going in and getting a new ID. . . you go in fill out paper work, pay some cost, sign your first child away and walk out.

Issue nine. . . I am just too easily distracted, whether it is by watching True Blood, collecting pictures for my muses’ inspiration, or being on the Internet. I am need to focus more on my writings.

Will this drama ever stop?

Okay, Tom and I have moved into a new house. . . actually we are paying for a room and get free reign of the house. At first, I thought we were just living with a family of three. . . Then I found out there was another roommate, but she worked all of the time, and stayed out of everyone’s business. However her lover (the other guy’s cousin) was weaseling in. . . He was only supposed to stay for a week and it is now six weeks and he hasn’t left. (All because he found the other roommates sweet spots.) However he had caused so much drama.

He got drunk and pushed everyone into karaoke. I’m surprised we didn’t get the cops called on us.

He keeps giving minors cigarettes and he socializes with them; getting caught in their drama.

Then he ate several days of my food. . . he kept telling me I needed to cook for everyone and to save everyone a plate. . . I ran out of food before the end of the month. We had to get creative on a few meals. I took at it as lesson learned.

Then he busted into our room when I was venting . . . no knock and he went crazy. He denied everything, and then tells us he had enough money to eat out everyday (places like Red Lobster.) He also said lies like he was allergic to garlic, but I saw him put it in his own food. (I was told he had some mental problems, which I could tell by the obvious signs.)

Then he got drunk again, scared a guy, and they got into a pushing and yelling fight. . . Now that was strike two. . . then the family we are living said no drinking alcohol. (which we don’t drink anyway.) And then last night he invited a drunk over who was drinking in the house, and I got harassed. (I think this is way beyond strike three.)

Then he threatened my fiance. . . telling my mom that he and his friends wanted to kill him when he goes out. Now I feel I am living in fear, because there is a man with mental problems who has not just threatened my fiance, but I feel threatened.

Then today he drunk six cans of beer fast enough the get himself drunk and blurted out that the family who invited him in cannot tell him what to do. Then he made a noise and rushed out of his room.

I believe without this guy. . . there will be a lot less drama. Can that happen soon, please?

More writing drama. . . click here: http://rebekahwolveire.wordpress.com/2014/09/04/saturday-night-writing-drama/

I need a Plan B

For those who had hung out with me long enough tend to noticed that I am the “to-do” list maker and the planner type. I have several to-do lists, some daily, some for my writing, and some even for my fiancé (at request). It helps me stay somewhat organized.  My room has never stayed clean more than a week ever since I could remember. Now my fiancé and I live out of one room. . . (and he has more stuff than I do.)

Anyway, I used to have a backup plan if something happened with our living situation. However currently I have no backup plan. This week I am putting applications into places that I know have waiting lists. (My fiancé pointed out that if I talk about them that our current situation might get the wrong idea. . . there is no wrong idea, I will not sleep right, I will keep having anxiety issues and nightmares until I know I have at least a plan B.)

People who also know me know that I worry and have extreme anxiety issues.  If I do not feel secure, then I freak out. I do not feel secure living with people who try avoiding conflict and don’t speak truthfully to each other. I NEED A PLAN B!